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--Ann likes Marty. Marty has a girlfriend. Sort of. They are separated until sometime next month. In the meantime, I hear everything Ann says which is generally overly exaggerated. She went on today about whether or not I like being single. Yes I like being single. She also told me she wants to go to out to the clubs with me. ~_~

I don't like clubs or bars. They are creepy. Unless I go with 10 other people, I don't want to be raped on a dance floor by some weird ass dude.

Kameron asked me if I would be interested to see Gwen Stephani this summer. I said..AMIGAD YES. Just like that. So there will probably be a group of us going from work to see her. Lets party it on downnn borders.

Thats another person that confuses me. Kameron. One minute I think, hey possible bf material. The next, wow, just friends. Hey Brain of Mine? Can we pick something realistic here?


--So how long has it been since I have typed anything in this POS? FOREVER.

Lets update my life from the past year.

-Still at Eastern, took the fall semester off from school to grasp what I really wanted. Worked my ass off at Border's to save some money and move to a smaller apartment without room mates.

-I dated Russ for over 4 months, but ended it since it just wasn't going to work out.

-Made some new friends, party with them, back in Winter semester at Eastern with an edge towards Psychology now.

-Moved into new apartment, just got net hooked back up, and heading to work soon.

Brief, but simply put. Peace
--I haven't posted anything in SOOO long. I've been busy with work and with myself, I just haven't had the interest in posting.

So what exactly has gone on since I last posted? Steve Irwin died and I was messed up about that. I just watched his memorial service and I was balling my eyes out.

I haven't been home in months because I haven't wanted too, and also because I haven't been able to afford it. Gas has finally gone down to reasonable prices and I can actually go places without thinking when I'll have to save money to fill my tank again.

Then work is random with me having to work, then a day off, then work, then a day off. I mean wtf, can we be consistent here or something? The strike at school with the teachers still lurks, but there's classes at least. I got my car towed on the first day and had to pay 231 dollars to get it out. Since then, I haven't wanted to go because the parking blows.

There's also someone I'm interested in...Maybe something will come of it. I shall see.

Broken Hearted

How do I start? What should I say?
That Love was never meant to be anyways?
I can't say anything more, I'm closed up inside.
We've talked for an hour, yet I can't understand this anymore.

I want to hear you laugh for me, or even if its at me.
Wanting to be loved again is simply to hard to think or even be.
You say I've hurt you, and in some way that's true.
But you hurt me so much worse and now I'm torn in two.

How can you be so judgmental, on something so small?
I've never judged you, even when I knew you were wrong.
We've had our issues, as all couples do.
But you threw away everything, just because you can't decide what to do.

Why can't we just love? And be happy as we are?
I guess we're not meant to be together, even from afar.
So now I can't speak to you, or even think of you.
How can you still speak, or yet, even think of me?
--I hate myself for what I've done for what I've said. I hate myself for everything these past few days. I hate the fact I didn't talk to him sooner. It is my fault. Now my heart is broken and all I can do is cry.

How can I go on as if everything is normal? How come this couldn't be settled? How come this ended with a separation at all? Why? why why? I can't think, I can't stop crying.

My heart has stopped and I can't help but keep falling.

Jun. 24th, 2006

--You go one way, now the other. You tell me one thing, you say another. What am I supposed to think? How am I supposed to feel? Now it changes everything. I may even leave...

Jun. 18th, 2006

--So this week was kind of hectic and the driving wasn't all that great. I spent so much time driving back and forth to work, then home. Then back to Ann Arbor, home, work, party.

Courtneys b-day bash at the Beach Grill rocked as well as the 90's music. It was fun while it lasted and then I drove back home to Ann Arbor. Tomorrow I work a long ass shift in the café and then clean the apartment. yay....

This week has been so damn demanding and mentally frustrating. I cannot wait for the new week. Crying for this week has made up for several weeks worth.
--Beautiful today, just really nice weather. I wish it was like this all summer. I hate the heat and humidity. The sun is out, I was driving around running errands after work with my stereo all the way up and singing like a tart. However, I could care less since they didn't get to hear my terrible voice.

Some good and bad things at work; mostly just gossip and the time going by. Poor Ashley is still sick, Ericca is leaving on Sunday, Evelyn put her two weeks in...AHHH! I will miss them both since A. They're opiniated B. They're awesome and C. They keep me somewhat sane and insane at the same time.

*sigh* This next month is going to be interesting...

You Belong in New York City

You're an energetic, ambitious woman.
And only NYC is fast enough for you.
Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career
Or simply take in all the city has to offer.

Jun. 1st, 2006

--I've been crying for the past 20 minutes now over my cat. I had to take her to my parents house and visiting them just made me want to turn back with her.

She's staying until Alicia comes back from vacation in west virginia, but my mom says if I really want her, she can stay with them. I don't know how that will work considering she has bad asthma with her allergies. Even if she did keep her, it still means I'm without her.

I walked into the apartment after I got off work and just started sobbing. She wasn't there purring at me, she wasn't at my feet trying to get my attention, she wasn't looking at me with those beautiful eyes, she wasn't there at the door when I got out of the shower.

I just curled into a ball and cried until all I could do was breath. I know it sounds so childish, but I just feel so lonely without her. Now I'm crying again. She is that extra something that makes this place feel like a home for me. She has that aura and presence she gives off that keeps me fromm feeling alone.

Now, I have Pepper and myself to occupy time when I'm alone. Oh how I could cry for hours right now, but I'm trying to get a grip and move on. At times I feel so independent, while other times I am so dependent it drives me insane. Now's one of those moments.

Whats up with Hollywood?

--Is it just me, or does celebs seem to have the most f'ed up relationships? The only reason I know half of this crap is because waiting at the grocery store leaves me with nothing but tabloids to read. Besides, I'm all up for the gossip since its not my life, lol.

I must admit, I'm glad that Jessica Simpson is out of the picture with Nick Lachey. I think his career was shadowded by hers and now that they've split, people are paying more attention to him. THANK GOD. She annoys the hell out of me.

So with that, his new song is great, I'll have to see what the rest of his cd is like.

And everyone at work is just having a great time making fun of Aaron and his, "hospital" visit. I seriously wonder wtf goes through his mind sometimes. He reaches under the counter to grab a bag of coffee to grind and he goes OW. I NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I just looked at him like, uhhhhhh, okay? So Adam was having a great time with it and I was dying. I had to go in the back and finish some dishes I was laughing so damn hard.

Cafe people have way to much fun sometimes. We have such tedious crap to do, and health code is always a bitch, but its been fun learning everything I know even now. I'm hoping to become a trainer in the future and be able to show up Adam and Aaron. Yeah I'm evil, but oh well.

Well I'm off to finish some stuff.

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